2500 børn ringede om mobning....
28. maj 2008 23:02, Mette Valentin
Vidste du at der alene i 2007 var 2500 børn der ringede ind til Børns Vilkårs Børnetelefon, for at tale om mobning. 2500 !!! Hertil kommer så det sandsynligtvis langt større skyggeantal af børn som vi ikke ved bliver mobbet fordi de ikke kan, tør eller må ringe til børnetelefonen.
Mobning er et meget konkret problem for rigtigt mange børn og unge. Mobning er ikke ”kun” en meget nedbrydende og ondskabsfuld adfærd overfor et andet menneske, mobning er et middel til at konservere den sociale ulighed og videreføre negativ social arv.
Mobning skader såvel mobber som den mobbede, og mobning skader ikke mindst kulturen (stemningen og trivslen/ trygheden bland de øvrige børn i børnegruppen, børn som entet er aktive eller passive mobbere, eller for bange til at blande sig).
Alle er enige om at mobning er uacceptabelt, og mange steder griber man da også ind, der kører kampagner og projekter som er meget rørende og gode, men jeg mener, at vil man virkeligt have fat om nældens rod, må man lovgive og dermed sikre en tryg og rummelig hverdag for alle vores børn og unge, i institutioner og skoler.
Mobning starter mange gange allerede i vuggestuen, hvor de normative børn ekskluderer de børn der falder udenfor normen. Denne adfærd med at ekskludere dem der ikke ligner og bekræfter os selv, er i følge sociologerne nærmest en primitiv biologisk mekanisme, hvis oprindelige formål var, at sikre gruppens beståen, vækst og status. Når børn mobber og fryser nogen ude, gør de det helt og aldeles uden at kunne forstå omfanget af konsekvenser for både dem selv, den det går ud over og børnegruppen overordnet set.
Børn der er vidne til mobning frygter ofte selv at blive sat i samme situation, og de er udviklingsmæssigt rent emotionelt et sted, hvor empati og medfølelse endnu har et snævert fokus og langt fra er veludviklede personlige kvaliteter. Det betyder dog ikke, at vi ikke kan lære vores små poder allerede fra starten af, at være nogle tolerante og rummelige mennesker, med respekt for såvel egne som andres meninger. Det er jo i denne alder de første grundsten i den senere sociale identitet opbygges – og hermed bliver de første fastforankrede forestillinger om ens evne til, mulighed for og succes med at socialisere, udtrykke sig, og føle fællesskab på godt og ondt, allerede cementeret her
Vores børn lytter utvivlsomt til og ser på alle deres voksne, og lærer af hvad vi gør, hvordan vi taler, tænker og ter os overfor hinanden, og andre mennesker, nære som fjerne. Denne adfærd kopierer de og transformerer den til en del af deres identitet, fordi barndomsårenes største sårbarhed netop er en ubevidst men konstant søgen efter sin egen unikke identitet, på godt og ondt.
En meget overvejende del af identitetsudvikingen og den individuelle sociale forankring finder psykologisk set sted i alderen 3 - 14 år. Herefter ser man at den indlærte adfærd fortsætte i voksenalderen, dog oftest i mere sublime former, men med mindst lige så stor skadevirkning
Generelt synes jeg at se, at der er en stigende tendens til at være hårde ved hinanden både på arbejdsmarkedet og i skoler/ på institutioner, og det synes at være en kultur som accepteres som værende ”En nødvendig del af tiden vi lever i”, men sådan mener jeg ikke det er. Det er noget vi alle hver især vælger til og fra, sådan er det. Der er desværre øjensynligt blot lidt for mange der vælger det til, og lader stå til.
Ved at sætte massivt og tydeligt ind overfor mobning vil man kunne afhjælpe mange af de mekanismer der ligger bag triste samfundstendenser som stigende selvmordsrater, eksistentiel ensomhed, flere og flere psykisk syge, kriminelle, utilpassede eller støttekrævende børn og unge, dårlig indlæring og fejludvikling, stigende social ulighed og decideret eksklusion. Meget kan vindes – intet tabes – ved at lovgive mod mobning – og dermed sikre en effektiv og stadig indsats mod at det finder sted - sålænge det findes – findes der mekanismer som skaber social ulighed og dybe ar på sjælen, allerede fra den tidlige barndom af. Det kan vi ikke være bekendt.
Vi skal altså passe ordenligt på børnene og de unge, vi er nødt til politisk at påtage os vores ansvar overfor børnene, og en gang for alle sikre børn og unge en tryg og rummelig institution og skole - uanset hvilken institution og skole der så er tale om.
Læs mere på Børns Vilkårs hjemmeside og Sammen mod mobning kampagnen, som du finder links til ude i højre side af bloggen her. Du kan også læse meget mere under sider : Om Mobning. God fornøjelse !!
Støtter du en lovgivning så klik ind på www.lovgivmodmobningnu.skrivunder.dk og støt op om initiativet og initiativgruppen : Lovgiv mod mobning nu - som netop nu er ved at filme en TV2 Fyn udsendelse med titlen "Min sag : Initiativgruppen Lovgiv mod mobning nu"
P.S : Initiativgruppen søger efter en (VKO) politiker som er imod lovgivning på området, men gerne vil fortælle initiativgruppen om hvorfor, hvilke barrierer det er man ser for en lovgivning og hvordan man ser på mobning i det hele taget. Initiativgruppen har allerede aftalt interview med en folkevalgt SF'er på Christiansborg, som er for en lovgivning mod mobning.
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